


A Dazzling Haze

by likehandlingroses



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, M/M, Melancholy, Tenderness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-29 20:07:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20441765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likehandlingroses/pseuds/likehandlingroses
Summary: Remus and Sirius take down the Christmas decorations at Grimmauld Place...most of them, anyway.





	A Dazzling Haze

**January 12, 1996**

Buckbeak hardly acknowledges the slight incline of Remus’s head as he enters Mrs. Black’s old bedroom. Sirius--who is sitting on the floor and leaning against the bedside dresser--pays his entrance even less attention; his eyes are fixed on the ceiling. 

Sirius’s silhouette is so familiar to Remus that it could be his own. The way one arm balances on a propped up knee, how his spine presses against the wood of the dresser as if it alone is keeping him upright. How sharp and cutting the bones in his face seem. How beautiful. He could be fifteen, sulking after a Gryffindor defeat on the Quidditch pitch. 

As Remus steps in front of him, Sirius’s eyes lower, the light inside of them daring Remus to continue to bring up old memories. Fierce and bright, Sirius’s gaze illuminates the present and only the present, making everything else opaque, hazy. The world is thrust into darkness even as Remus steps closer to the brightest thing he’s ever seen. 

“May I sit?”

Sirius nods, pulling the knee closest to the wall tighter to his chest as Remus settles against the peeling wallpaper. 

“When do you leave tonight?” 

“I gave my shift to Dedalus,” Remus says. “His sister’s birthday is next month, so I told him I would be happy to trade.” 

Sirius looks baffled for only an instant before leaning his head back on the dresser. “Mm. Help me take the decorations down?”

Remus doesn’t blame Sirius for not wanting to face the dismantling of the house alone: it’s melancholy work. Each time Sirius leaves with a box full of tinsel and ornaments, he walks out with his spine too straight, and he takes too long to return. 

“Why don’t we keep these up?” Remus says of the white lights strung along the mantel in the sitting room. They shine harshly in the otherwise dim room, but to take them away entirely would feel like ripping out the room’s very life force. 

Sirius almost smiles at the suggestion, and the lights stay. 

The next box takes longer to fill. The packing up of every wreath and streamer is punctuated by a story, a comment...or perhaps held in Sirius’s hand for too long as he’s distracted by the way Remus’s hands brush against his waist when he moves past Sirius in the tight space between the tree and the bookshelf. 

“So sorry,” Remus says with a smile, his fingers trending lower and pressing more firmly against Sirius each time he passes.

“Tease,” Sirius mutters, though he makes sure he’s always within reach when Remus comes by. 

Finally, he stops Remus’s wandering hands with his own, after the tree has nearly been stripped and the mantel is bare, apart from the white lights. They illuminate severe, unnerving shadows along the floors and the walls, and yet Remus feels only fondness as he surveys the room. 

Sirius pulls Remus’s arms around him as he leans back against Remus’s chest, his temple pressed against Remus’s forehead. 

“I asked Dumbledore…” Remus murmurs into his ear. “I asked him if I might stay closer to headquarters. Go away less often. For now.”

Sirius says nothing, but Remus can feel his body relaxing against his, their intertwined shadows swaying in the dusky room. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! This fic is based on the Taylor Swift song "Lover," which has such hard core Wolfstar energies to me! I was excited to try and reflect that mood in this story. 
> 
> I’m doing a ficlet (500-1000 words) for each of the new songs on Taylor Swift’s album “Lover,” so click through for more from this series, if that interests you!


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